ESR Escapes Matrix

Tim Ransom

September 05, 2003

Open source icon Eric S. Raymond recently discovered that the entire 'open source community' have been living in a synthetic reality while their prone bodies are floating in green, nasty looking liquid in futuristic looking glass sarcophagi. The sarcophagi are housed in a top secret hangar in Armonk owned by IBM.

"I would sit in front of my terminal with the feeling that something was not right." he stated. "Then I met Trillian, this anorexic chick in a latex catsuit. She was acting as a 'cutout' for some guy named Morpheus, an illegal file-trader. They told me I am 'The One', and that I must lead the fight to free my brethren from IBM's sinister mind control"

When it was pointed out that he couldn't be floating in brine in Armonk and be in the room at the same time, Raymond sat bolt upright in his bed. Mopping the sweat from his brow, he uttered, "Just a dream. Thank God!Wheew!".

As a weary Raymond absentmindedly walked across the ceiling to get a glass of water from the bathroom, a sinister chortle eminated from a richly wainscotted office in Utah.

1:06 PM

Copyright 2003