Date: 9 Nov 91 11:29:54 CDT
From: Len Rose < federal@prison.north.carolina>
Subject: File 7-- Letter from Prison (part 2 of 2)

Following is the second of the two-part letter by Len Rose.  It
reinforces our own view that there is no such place as an "easy time"
prison.  Len is no different than many other first-time, non-violent
offenders: Loneliness and emotional deprivation border on "cruel and
unusual punishment." It is not the loss of freedom, but the disruption
of family and consequences of incarceration on the innocent that make
prisons especially hard for offenders.  Those wishing a chronology and
background of Len's case can obtain it from the Len Rose file in the
CuD ftp archives at widener or uchicago.

Sheldon Zenner, Len's former attorney, has agreed to serve as a
conduit for funds to help Len's family. Checks or money orders (*NO
CASH*) should be made out to:

    Sheldon T. Zenner
    RE: Len Rose
    Katten, Muchin, and Zavis
    525 West Monroe Street (Suite 1600)
    Chicago, IL 60606-3693

BE SURE TO PUT LEN'S NAME ON THE CHECK AND AN INDICATION IN THE MEMO
SECTION THAT IT'S FOR LEN ROSE so it may be directed properly.

Len's address for those who've missed it:

Len Rose  (27154-037)
FPC
Seymour Johnson AFB
Caller Box 8004
PMB 187
Goldsboro, NC 27531-8004

He would appreciate a letter or post card.

                     +++ Len's letter follows +++

I am desperate for my family. My wife has run out of money, and she is
on her own. Normally, this wouldn't be that serious, but she is
handicapped by lack of English skills, and no marketable job skills.
She has two small children to care for, ages six and three, and can't
afford day care/baby sitters if she did obtain minimum wage
employment. I was able to raise $5,000 from the sale of some of the
equipment that was kindly returned to me by the Secret Service. It
was not enough. She receives some public assistance, but it isn't
enough to sustain them. I understand that she is on a waiting list for
subsidy for public housing, but was also told there is a two-year
backlog.

Since we cannot conduct a useful correspondence via written medium,
and cannot afford to telephone, we are virtually cut-off from each
other. The phone bill has not been paid, and it looks like that will
soon be cut off (We are only allowed to make collect calls here). My
wife has bravely survived for four months, and I feel very lucky to be
married to her. She has endured so much these last two years. I am
proud of her.

They are the ones who are really being punished. I am quite capable of
serving my 10 and a half month sentence. It is mental hell, but I can
handle it. They however, may not. If I could be released to home
detention or perhaps a halfway house, I could return to the work force
and support them. I can only wonder at the logic behind my sentence,
but at this point I am no longer bitter. I am in stasis. I cannot and
will not allow myself to think of what was or might have been. To
indulge in such opens the door to thoughts which are at this point
self-destructive.  I have learned that when survival is pitted against
pride, instincts take over. I have become (I hope) a model prisoner.
I work hard. I do what I am told, and smile. I am pleasant and
respectful. I have only one desire. I must be free. My family's
survival--my children--depend on me. Things look very bleak now.  I
have put my faith in God that I can get out before they are on the
street, are taken away and placed in foster care.  I have received so
much help from various people. They know who they are. More thanks are
not enough, and if I am ever fortunate enough to be a success again,
they will be repaid.

Right now, it looks like my family doesn't stand much of a chance.  If
I can be released in time, I can save them from a very harsh fate.

Prison has enlightened me in several ways. Loneliness--I never dreamt
that it had such depths. I am never alone here, yet I am extremely
lonely for my wife, Sun. After 11 years (soon to be 12!) of marriage,
she has become part of me. I don't feel whole. It's also bizarre how
much I came to depend on my children. My three year old daughter
warmed my heart like nothing else could. My son, six years old, had
finally grown to the point where he had become a friend. I could spend
hours with him just talking. Being separated from them has been the
worst punishment. I think that is the key to being in prison: It is
not the conditions or physical confinement. Being cut off from loved
ones is terrible. Especially when they need you.

My wife is serving my prison sentence. My children are also. Me?  I am
fine, I suppose. If I were single, I could stay here and eventually
cope. I have all my needs provided for. I don't have to worry about
next month's rent, or food, or having the electricity cut off in the
middle of winter. My wife does.

My loneliness for my wife is the harshest part of my imprisonment.
Since we cannot write each other (as in meaningful communication),
it's been sheer torture for me, and I'm sure for her as well.  Before
you accuse me of complaining, I'd like to say that I accept what has
happened to me. I have learned to live with my fate.  It took a long
time for that, believe me. At this point in my life, I only wish to
return to my family.  I'd like to resume a normal life and hopefully
earn a decent living. Perhaps, in time, I can heal my family's wounds.

I am very proud of my wife. She has been the source of my resolve.
Her loyalty and her strength have kept me going. She has seen her
world crumble, and she still keeps a brave face on life.  I pray for
them every night and also pray for my release.  Some people have told
me that prison will force you to learn more about yourself. I have
learned a great deal.  I know that I have discovered that I really do
love my wife.  I took so many things for granted before.

         Len