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From: jdba...@csupomona.edu
Newsgroups: alt.fan.jello-biafra
Subject: Creative Crime (Long)
Date: 13 Apr 94 21:57:24 PST
Organization: California State Polytechnic University, Pomona
Lines: 179
Message-ID: <1994Apr13.215724.1@clstac>
NNTP-Posting-Host: vmsb.is.csupomona.edu
I was sent this, and asked to post it here. Share and enjoy.
Direct Action!
"It is fun to have fun but you have to know how."--Dr. Seuss
The first Step in the fight against law & order iz to kill the
Cops In Your Head, the ones that tell you Not to shoplift, Not to fuck
in public, Not to spraypaint, etc. Quit policing yrself!
Put water in police car gas tanks. Or sugar, or Prestone
Radiator Flush. Sugar will form a carbon coating on the piston rings &
cylinder wall & shut the engine down... permanently. Radiator Flush
fucks up every system on the whole car before total breakdown. No you
can't Blow Up a car by stuffing a banana up the tailpipe, but if you
shove a potato(e) up the tailpipe it will send a potato flying thru
the air, Potentially breaking windows, etc. You can ruin the paint
job by "accidentally" spilling coke on it. How 2 get free coke:
there's an 11-digit code on the bottom of each coke can. The First
digit is the Last digit of the year & the Next three are the day of
the year that it was packaged. (So, 3272 means the 272nd day of '93).
Diet coke has nutrasweet which goes bad after ninety dayz. Who givez
a fuck, right? wrong. Grab a can of diet coke & backdate the code by
about four months. Call up 1-800 GET COKE & tell them it tasted Awful
& made you sick. They'll ask you for the code & apologize & send you
a couple coupons for free 6-packs. Or, mix some salt & really hot
water in a squeeze bottle & spray it into a $ bill changer on a coke
machine. You'll get lots of free coke & about 30$ in change. The
machine will smoke & make lots of noise, tho, so don't do this when
folx are around. Or you can make yr own coke:
30 pounds sugar
2 gallons H2O
2 pints lime juice
4 oz. citirate of caffeine
2 oz. citric acid
1 oz. extract of vanilla
6 drams fluid extract of cola
6 drams fluid extract of coca
Make love on police cars. Make love with coke bottles on police cars.
If the copz come by for a visit: don't let them in in Unless
they have a warrant & you've seen it & proved to your satisfaction
that it's authentic. If it is, let them search, just make sure they
stay within the limits of the search. Remember, you don't have to
Identify Yourself or answer any questions. If yr arrested you still
don't have to tell them anything except your Name & Address. Ask to
see a lawyer & don't talk without one. If you have advance warning,
burn all incriminating documents & flush the Ashes. (Have copies
hidden in safe places). Get evidence (drugs, explosives, etc.) as far
away from you as you fucking can. Be prepared for the Motherfuckers!
If you're being chased by the cops, have more than one escape
route planned. At Night, it's good to have one of those hand-held
strobe lights they use for flash photos. When they're within sight,
close yr eyes & flash the light a few times. They'll be blinded for a
few seconds. (build up a ring around the button with superglue so you
can't Accidentally set it off & blind yrself). If you're being chased
in a car, try to Outthink them instead of Outrunning them. Dramatic,
high-speed car chases put you at a disadvantage & could get you
killed. Better to cut the Lites, make some quick turns & get them off
yr trail. If they're in a vehicle & you're not, lay out some barbed
wire or caltrops along the road. You can make your own caltrops by
diagonally cutting fuse wire to male sharp points & twisting it around
narrow-gauge chain. Also remember, you can go places on foot or in a
bicycle they can't in their cop cars.
Need a social security number? Richard Milhaus Nixon's iz
567-68-0515.
Free fone calls! Buy or steal a radio shack 33-memory pocket
tone dialer & a 6.5536 mHz crystal. Open up the dialer & take out the
speaker disk & the old crystal. Put in the 6.5536 mHz speaker, using
the wires from the speaker. Solder them where the Old crystal was.
Be careful not to solder the wires together, tho! Then close the
dialer back up & program five Star buttons into the memory. When you
press the button the tone it makes will sound like the noise a quarter
makes in a pay fone. This groovy little machine can also simulate
dimes (two Stars) & nickels (one Star). You can make free long
distance & international calls, or local calls if you have the
operator dial for you. Pay fones in parts of New York & California,
& maybe other places too, are equiped against this kind of thing, tho.
Another way to get free fone calls is to get into the network
interface Box. This is the Box on the side of the building where the
building's fone system ends & the fone network begins. The 2 are
connected with an RJ-11 modular plug, the kind there is on the end of
every phone. Go over to someone you don't like & get into their
network interface Box (you'll need a 3/8 inch & a 7/16 inch
nutdriver). Unplug their system & plug your fone in. You can call
whoever the fuck you want... it's their bill! If yr in a more
destructive mood, you can take some steel bars & bend them to make a
grappling hook, & tie that to some length of rope or cord (not
cable!). Toss the hook up & catch it on a wire. Pull down as hard as
you can. If you can get some friends to help you it's much easier.
Make love in pay phones. (Reach out & touch someone!)
Work sucks. Slaves in ancient Rome had 115 days off a year.
We don't even get that much! Solution: hang out more, work less.
Call in Sick, change the clocks, take long lunch breaks, sneak off
and take a nap. Do a bad job so the boss won't ask you to do it
again. Make personal calls. Hijack the xerox machine & do a zine.
Steal ("borrow") things from the boss & give them to yr friends, or
strangers. Play games with the other slaves. Fuck with the machines.
Fuck with the boss's mind. Or don't work...
Call up the pizza place around closing time & order the most
totally Bizarre pizza ever thought of (not for delivery). Jalapenos,
pesto... Be creative! Then go out and hang around in the Alley. When
the place closes, since nobody has picked the pizza up (& none of the
workers want it) they'll take the pizza out to the dumpster. Free
pizza! Also, at some fancy Hotels they leave bags with Breakfast
cereal, danishes, & other cool stuff at peoples' doors in the morning.
If you visit one of these Hotels at about 7-9 am you can usually
liberate a meal.
Security cameras are just about Everywhere now. Do Everyone
a favor & knock a few of the little fuckers out. Stick some gum over
the lens, or spraypaint over it. If you flash the flash cone from a
camera into the lens it will burn out. Or just cut the wires.
Take a powerful smoke bomb into yr favorite store. (Have it
hidden in a bag or something cuz it'll look kinda suspicious
otherwise!) Put it down somewhere where it's not Obvious & set it
off. Everyone else will run out uv the store in PaNiC! As soon as
they're gone, empty the store's counters & cash register into yr bag.
Make sure not 2 inhale too much smoke, tho!
Need some change? Crumple up a piece of paper & stuff it up
the coin return slot on a pay phone, coke machine, video game, etc. in
a rich neighborhood. Come back in a few days & take the paper out.
You'll get all the change they Didn't get. Need a lot of change?
Those stamp machines they have outside post offices so you can get
Stamps when the post office iz closed, are fuckin gold mines. They
usually have 100-300$ in them, either in stamps or in change that
people paid for the stamps. So, chain the machine securely 2 yr
truck and drive until you rip the little fucker off the wall! Then
take it home & weld it open. In Pennsylvania some folx hotwired a
backhoe & liberated a few ATM machines. Each Machine had 15,000$
in it...
Tie a wet Sponge into the smallest ball possible with thin
string & let it dry in the Hot Sun. Now untie it & go down to
your favorite government/big Bizness building. Flush it down the
toilet. The sponge will expand in the water & clog the pipes.
Make love in your favorite government/big Bizness building.
Have a "Boston tea party"-type event. Hijack a truckload of
cigarettes & dump them into the nearest body of Water 2 protest the
cigarette tax.
Let's put McDonalds out of Bizness. They try to get people to
be more car-dependent, try to get you to Eat 2 much Meat, & use slick
ads to get Kidz to live unhealthy lives. Break their windows,
spraypaint their walls, or just don't Eat their food. Smash the
fuckin golden Arches!
Walk, or take a Bike instead of driving. Bike to work, to a
party, to a friend's place, downtown, wherever. Have a "critical
mass" bike ride: bike down an interstate with a few hundred friends,
blocking up traffic.
Throw Rocks through windows. Torch billboards. Cut down
road signs. Decorate Walls with spraypaint. You're not committing
vandalism. They are, by covering the natural landscape up with
Concrete & Steel.
You can do some colorful "Damage" with those little glass jars
of model paint, or with a yogurt can filled with paint. The
top will fly off on impact sending paint everywhere. This is
especially good for windows or billboards.
Simple lockpicking: the best lockpick is a few styx of
dynamite. The next best iz a few solid blows w/ a sledgehammer.
Unfortunately, these are both 2 Loud! If the deadbolt izn't engaged,
tho, you can open the door by slipping a heavy-gauge piece of wire
bent into a u-shape around the lock mechanism & pulling. Paperclips,
credit cards, etc. also work.
Start your own pirate tv station: plug an antenna into the
output socket of your vcr. You can transmit from pre-recorded tapes,
or if you have a videocamera you can make a live transmission. The
transmission will be seen in a radius of three to five blocks.
Or pirate radio: you need a motorcycle battery, a 25-35 watt power
amp, an fm transmitter, & an fm antenna. Also some 18-gauge wire to
connect the battery & the amp, & an assortment of other wires. A
mixer is also useful if you're going to be switching between live &
prerecorded material. You can steal most of this stuff from Radio
Shack. It's best to make transmissions from the woods or mountains,
at night; the cops won't want to chase you.
Educate yourself. Kno Whassup & make informed decisions about
it. The more you know, the more dangerous you are to the government.
--
"But as you all know, and as fate would have it, I didn't die.
I landed on the top of a police car. And he died. ... You gotta sing
it with that kind of enthusiasm. Like you just squashed a cop..."
Arlo Guthrie
Thanks to Erik from D.C. for sending me this.