The Inquirer: Emission Statement

With apologies to Citizen Kane

By our Stasi Watcher, 27 March 2001

MAGEE: I've changed the front page a little, Doctor Spinola. That's not enough. Now there's something I've got to get into this site besides pictures and print. I've got to make The Inquirer as important to the world as the gas in that light.

SPINOLA: What're you gonna do, Mikey?

MAGEE: Declaration of Principles. Don't smile, Spinola. Got it all written out. Declaration of Principles.

SPINOLA: You don't wanna make any promises, Mr. Magee, you don't wanna keep.

MAGEE: These will be kept. I'll provide the people of the world with an IT news site that will tell all the news honestly. I will also provide them...

SPINOLA: That's the second sentence you've started with "I."

MAGEE: People are gonna know who's responsible. And they're gonna get the truth in the Inquirer quickly and simply and entertainingly and no special interests are gonna be allowed to interfere with the truth. I will also provide them with a fighting and tireless champion of their rights as citizens and as human beings. Signed, Mikey M. Magee. Still looking for the Incredible Hulk.