SCO Website Hacked By NanoBot Terrorists

SCO Website Hacked By NanoBot Terrorists

Tim Ransom

September 01, 2003

This blog will be concerned with exploring the very depths of text-based catharsis. I am an uneducated moron, a dilettante and a knee-jerk sanctimonious blowhard. My moral outrage is only matched by my hypocrisy. My compass points in whatever direction I'm looking. I am a myopic thimblewit with delusions of lucidity. You will shudder at the spherical perfection of my ignorance. My swaggering arrogance and baseless posture of entitlement will make your blood boil. Should you seek to educate me with rational, fact-based argument, you will find me impervious to both truth and lies. This is not due to my having carefully cultivated my opinion, but because I fear that which I do not understand.

11:45 AM

Laura Didio is Darl McBride!

Tim Ransom

September 02, 2003

Ever notice they never appear in the same room?
Actually, having never been in a room with either of them, I can say that I haven't either. But, although I actually use Windows at home, and my Linux experience could be counted in hours, I am giddy with the knowledge that I am morally superior to either Darl McBride or Laura Didio!

That's right. Although I routinely disgust myself with my inwardly petty, shallow, self-serving behaviour, nobody knows what a duplicitous snake I am because I possess one attribute that McBride and Didio do not: shame! While my precious shame is likely due to my obsequious, pathetic desire for approval, it also could be misconstrued as courtesy. Although my shame is really a bulwark of cowardice holding back a deluge of despicable behaviour, it is also a source of baseless pride. While McBride revels in his lack of shame, bathing gleefully in the piss of his detractors for all to see, and Didio unwittingly reveals her staggering ignorance, I am still staging all my battles in my mind's eye, where it's safe. Yes, although the world may use me for a doormat today, tonight I will fashion the perfect retort, throw flawless roundhouse kicks and generally mete out uncompromising justice, all in the safety of my own empty head. Were I to throw off the shackles of my shame, then I might discover just what kind of poltroon I really am. Regardless, I will cling to my shame, as it seperates me from the Darl McBrides of this world. Although I may be a train wreck of a human being, too frightened for the vainglorious, and too stupid to help anyone, I know in my heart of hearts that I am a better person than Darl McBride.

I would like to personally extend my gratitude to Darl McBride for helping me learn to like myself by being such a demonstrably shameless parasite. Were it not for you lowering the bar to such depths, I may never have recovered my self esteem.

9:39 AM

McBride of Frankenstein

Tim Ransom

September 03, 2003

I am looking at a photo of Alpha Pariah Darl McBride. I can't help but admire the way his temples are greying. It makes him look distinguished and way cool like Mr. Fantastic, Reed Richards, leader of Marvel Comics' enduring Fantastic Four franchise.

Perhaps the parallels between these two don't stop at having cool two tone hair. While Mr. Fantastic is able to stretch and shape his very molecules to unimagineable limits without ripping his groovy skin tight blue super hero costume, Darl McBride is able to stretch and shape abstract concepts like Truth and Irony to unimagineable limits without cracking a grin. Mr. Fantastic's lovely wife, Sue Richards, is known as the Invisible Girl due to her ability to become invisible. Laura Didio, Yankee Group analist [sick] and insatiable paramour of SCO, has been invisible since some of the 'evidence' she finds so compelling was displayed by SCO in public, then subsequently revealed to be as ubiquitous as toilet paper, although not quite as useful. As the property of a publicly owned company, Reed Richards is a fictional character owned by many people. Darl McBride is a publicly fictional character who claims to own many people's property. Reed Richards fights fictional villains in a two dimensional world. Darl McBride fights fictional villains.

I have just realized that if I were to morph an image of Darl McBride with an image of Laura Didio, then those groovy grey temples should end up stretched along Didio's foamy locks like that ultra chic hairdo on the bride of Frankenstein. Result: McBride of Frankenstein! I will now endeavor to render the image as I see it in my mind. I will post a link to the results when I'm done.

12:56 PM

How To Contact Me

Tim Ransom

September 03, 2003

Until I have time to add more features here, I can be contacted at timransom@rogers.com.
Thanks for your interest.

12:56 PM