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From: alba...@netcom.com (Al Petrofsky)
Subject: Speech by Dean Ellis mentioning Naked Guy
Message-ID: < albatrosCALvyD.91o@netcom.com>
Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 241-9760 guest)
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1993 07:11:00 GMT
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[Note crosspost.  Direct followups only to whichever is appropriate.] 

Wednesday morning I was at the annual joint meeting of the Berkeley
and San Francisco Breakfast clubs and was treated to a speech by the
invited speaker, Russ Ellis, UCB's Dean of Student Life.  [The
Breakfast clubs are a local sort of "old boy networks" (by which I do
not mean that they exclude women).  I was there performing with the
Cal Band (I was not naked).]

He extolled the virtues of Cal for a few minutes, mentioning how a
couple professors had turned down huge salary increases to stay at Cal
because they so much loved the sense of community.  Then it got good:

[These quotes undoubtedly have some errors.  I wasn't taking notes.]

    But none of that really matters, because all anyone ever asks me
    about is the damn Naked Guy!...

    I'm Dean of Student Life at a place where that title is like
    saying "Shepherd of Cats"...

    People only want to hear something about Cal if it involves nudity
    or marijuana.  I didn't bring any marijuana today, but I'll talk
    about the Naked Guy for you...

    I kicked the Naked Guy out, in case you didn't know.  It wasn't my
    first choice of actions, but [shrugs]...

    Andrew has a warped view of history and culture.  He likes to say
    he's challenging our oppressive western values.  *Western* values?
    I spent all my time trying to *save* his ass from the fathers of
    Islamic women!  You show up naked in front of the daughters of
    some of these Islamic guys, and you've got some *dues* to pay,
    man!

He then said that he had missed the Nude-in.  He knew it was going to
happen, because his "spies" had told him, but he had to be somewhere
else.  When he got back to Sproul plaza, several hours "after what had
apparently been a very successful nude-in", there was only one naked
person left, Hate Boy.  He quickly briefed everyone on the popular
street-person/alleged-former-NY-Times-writer/bible-banger-heckler-
extraordinaire Hate Man, and his recent wannabe sidekick, Hate
Boy.  He then mentioned that the X-plicit Players had brought body
paint that the nude-in participants had used in "a very beautiful
gesture" to paint each other.

    But anyway, when I got there, there was just Hate Boy, wearing a
    large straw hat, a black brassiere, a beaming smile, and nothing
    else, except that the glans of his penis was painted a bright
    day-glow red and the rest was painted bright green.  And, of
    course, everybody was walking by like this was completely normal!
    But I noticed!  The man had a day-glow dick!  I notice these
    things!  I went into my office and a little while later I got word
    of a commotion, finally.  The Hate Boy was lying on his back in
    the center of the plaza, with an erection...

    Andrew likes to think he's challenging us intellectually, that
    he's making us deal with our irrational cultural values, [some
    other thing]-- and I can't say that's he's wrong...

That's about it for TNG-related highlights.  

He's dead-on with the "western values" comment.  I think a good way to
persuade people that nudity is okay is to talk about Middle Eastern
countries where women cannot show their arms or legs.  When they say
how ridiculous that is, hit 'em with, "And how is that different from
banning bare genitals?"  Can anyone report successes/failures/pitfalls
with this argument?

Live Nude or Dye,
al